I love the idea of Yoga. Probably I’m infatuated with the practice. Who doesn’t want to be fit, tone and all bendy and stuff? Often I picture myself as a yogi, just trapped behind this thin shell waiting to be cracked open. Monday I was slightly fractured.
Because I didn’t have to pay for daycare this week, I signed up for a yoga class held at a local facility. It’s one of my goals to become a yoga teacher, what better way to get closer to that goal than actually commit to a class. I’ve talked and talked about taking one and through a recent post you know that my husband called me out on being a talker not a doer. It was also in that post I stated that I would forever be a DOER that day and forward! Being a doer doesn’t mean you have to sign up for the class as soon as it’s available, in my opinion, it counts as long as you’re signed up. Registering 3 hours before the class, counts.
My mat is always laid out, my kids love doing yoga poses; I do yoga on it and the occasional sit-ups. The fact that my mat was D.I.R.T.Y didn’t escape my attention, but there were more important details to attend to, like poopy diapers. When there is a kid in diapers in the house and they drop a big number in said diaper, well the trail of stink that follows smelly child must be dealt with promptly. Take it from me, the longer the stink lingers the harder it is to evacuate the odor. Having dealt with stinky, I decided it would be a good idea to clean my mat in the tub. The recommended spot cleaning wouldn’t really do me any good because the “spots” were huge.
I have some all-natural soap from the lovely Mrs. Meyers and the thought of delicious smelling honeysuckle in the depths of the mat sounded all too appealing! No one told this newfound Yogi that spot cleaning is done for a reason. When I took the waterlogged 30-pound yoga mat out of its dirty bath water, I still thought there was enough time to let it air dry. That fall day was beyond amazing…with sunny 75-degree weather! Never the less, the drenched rat of a mat, was not dry when I rolled it up and headed to class. Normally I don’t bring towels with but in my Pilates class last year, towels were used as support for the neck and lower back so I slipped one in my gym bag.
Honestly it felt like being the new kid in school. When I got to class, I was five minutes late. Class started at 6:45 and I left my house at 6:43. It’s across town and while my town isn’t large it’s still takes some time to get over that way. I followed two other late classmates in. I didn’t feel that bad anymore, but they took the last spots available; there was only one spot left, right, smack, dab, in the front of class. It was a little contradicting when you think about it. Aren’t the “cool kids” the ones that always sit in the back of the class late? The goody two-shoes show up early and take the spots in the front so they hear and be complimented on constantly! I am NOT one of those people. I’m fairly shy and like to keep to myself, busting out of a shell when I’m not that flexible is NOT what I had in mind 3 hours ago when I signed up for this class!
In that instant, I realized something. That spot was made for me. My feet are not flat on the mat while attempting down-ward dog, but being in the front, made me push that much harder. I’m tall and surely I blocked some people’s views, so my practice needed to be perfect so that those behind me at least had a general idea of what the teacher was trying to have us do!
Things got tough about half of the way through. I realized the shape I’m in isn’t fabulous. Far from where I need to be in order to become this teacher I have wanted to become. That’s when I took a look around the studio and I saw him. This man was practicing two mats away from me in the front of the class with just one leg. Without giving him the stare down I noticed he has an artificial leg, but I couldn’t tell if his leg was missing above or below the kneecap.
This epiphany wave washed over me shortly after that. If this guy has one leg and he’s flowing through the salutations with grace, there is no reason why I can’t have that same victory. It made me think of the drummers I’ve seen that have one arm or no arms at all, the motivational speakers that are limbless and doing what they love. Bethany Hamilton surfing. All of these incredible individuals are running across my thoughts and I realized the limitations we have are set by only us. The only person that can free you is you. We get in life what we focus on and if that’s misery you’re not in for a good journey and you should change your thoughts. Change your focus, stop holding yourself back and become who you’re meant to be.
The affirmations on Affirmats were also racing through my thoughts. Rise and Shine on! You are Wonderfully Made! I am Free! I Radiate Love! I am Grateful! I don’t have an Affirmat or an Affirtowel yet, but since my awakening they are tools I intend to purchase to enhance my journey for Zen.
As the next class rolls around, one can only hope my mat is dry. I’ll pack a towel just in case but regardless I know that wet or not, it won’t hold me back!
Xo Jes
ps. I found this rocking photo on here!