A friend of mine got to pick her son up from the rehab facility at a local hospital this weekend. He wasn’t in for drugs or drinking, like one would imagine, but for depression and an almost attempted suicide. Being the happy-go-lucky type my friend’s kid put on his happy face and went about his days even though he has been suffering from depression and dealing with bullies for over a year. No one knew. He’s popular, a starter on the high school varsity football team, doesn’t have a mean bone in his body and is in accelerated classes. He doesn’t fit the “depressed” cliché bill.
A few years ago a girl from the area committed suicide. She left a note, in it she named people from her class. She blamed these people for ending her life. A local church holds a 5K every single August to “Stomp Out Suicide”. I’ve been meaning to participate but haven’t had the chance yet. I can’t help but think about the kids she named. Did they feel all mighty and powerful knowing they were making her life miserable? After she took her life, and they found themselves called out what did they think of their behavior then?
My Father-in-Law committed suicide one month after my husband and I got married. In the weeks that lead up to the devastating day we didn’t get to run off and be happy newly weds, instead we spent weekends up at my Father-in-Laws and kept trying to make future plans with him in hopes that he wouldn’t do the unthinkable. One of the last things I said to him is that I hope he gets better because I want our future kids to know their grandpa. He took his life later that week.
He thought he was dying from cancer and the doctors were lying to him. In the note he left he said this was the only way. Before he died, he gave his dog to the human society and thew all of his house plants in his yard. He put a sign on the door saying “don’t come in just call the cops”. He even timed the train that passed his house perfectly so none of his neighbors heard the gun go off.
It’s been eight years this October and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about him. Was there something else that we could have done? His boys brought him to the hospital where he told the doctors he felt fine. The cops were called and told that he was going to take his life, but when they got there he lied about having a gun.
Depression is a sneaky lurker that could strike at any one at anytime. It doesn’t just affect one persons life. Whether you’re the kids that picked on the victim or family that is missing a member or the person that feels so alone and doesn’t have any hope left; depression affects everyone – even if YOU don’t suffer from it.
My friend is lucky, she gets to hug and kiss her baby tonight. Her son gets a second chance.
As the days pass and school begins to start, lets remember to keep the snide comments and bullying remarks out of our vocabulary. One “funny” phrase could push someone over the edge. I can bet that the named kids in Alissa’s letter have thought about her every single day. Don’t be them. Don’t regret something you say to someone. Be kind, life is hard enough without having dicks mess with you.
Much Love,
Jes xoxo