Fourteen years ago, in my Grandmother’s kitchen, I would come to realize that women belong to members only clubs.
They may not even realize it.
At the time, my brother’s then girlfriend was newly pregnant, not so new that no one knew but new enough that she was barely showing. There in the kitchen women of different ages, backgrounds and experiences came together to give the expecting mother advice or to share stories. As the hens clucked on I couldn’t help but feel like a fox on the sidelines, listening in. Sure, I would gain my membership to that club but it wouldn’t be for years later.
Looking back in high school there were many separate clubs, the girls in love, the heartbroken and the polygamy crushers. We respectfully stayed in our own space, intermingling every once in a while, but thinking the girls in the other clubs have NO idea what we’re going through, their life is SO easy!
As the hour glass continued to turn, the clubs remained but the titles changed.
Single. Married. Separated. Divorced. Kids. No kids. Infertile. Miscarried. Single parent. Working mom. Stay-at-home mom. The list of clubs is long.
It’s like we all start out as flour in a sifter and when the gears of life start shifting and sifting we are separated until we fit through the screen of our life. Separating us from our original state until we are forced through the screen; either by our choice or through someone else’s actions we are changed.
There is a club that isn’t often talked about.
Infidelity.
The club is divided into two definite sections.
The cheaters and the victims.
It’s like a dangerous game of seven card no peek. The cheaters deal out cards. The joker cards transform into shame cards. Cards are dealt face down and you have no idea what cards you hold until you flip them over one by one for everyone to see.
What cards do you hold?
Are you a dealer or an innocent player?
If you’re the dealer do you hand the cards out like candy or secretly pass them out hoping and praying the shame cards don’t get passed in this round?
If you’re an innocent player dealt the shame card and it takes you by surprise, do you hide it or you wear it on your sleeve like a scarlett letter?
Or maybe you have the best poker face and have everyone fooled. You’re holding the ONLY wild card. You’ve come to the party as a wolf in sheep’s clothing, ready to fuck everyone’s shit up.
No matter the cards you get dealt or deal out remember, in the game of Love be all in or not in at all.
Namaste,
Jes xoxo