Do you ever stop and look in the mirror and wonder, ”when the HELL did that happen”? Maybe you aged 5 years, maybe you put on 20 pounds, maybe you look like Courtney Love but went to bed feeling like Heidi Klum.
So…when the HELL does it happen?
For me, it took two years. Two years of living a life upside down and NOT having a routine. Two years of inconsistent sleep and over extensive stress. Two years of being dragged back and forth through the trenches of lies and truths, the known and unknowns, the fear and resilience, being injured and healing BUT the biggest struggle of all is the ditching media.
That picture of how life is “supposed” to be can really fuck with a person. “Comparison is the thief of joy” was something I taught and preached in my yoga classes but with the yoga studio closing, 2 years ago and 5 job changes later, a person forgets if it’s not part of their daily practice.
With social media being in your face 24/7, people replacing boredom with tiktok the ”supposed” to be becomes more of a ”why not me” issue.
Why can’t I look like that, bend like that, travel like that?
Well, I couldn’t take the comparison any longer. I packed up social media and put it away. Strolling through wooded trail instead of scrolling through the feed, getting fueled by nature instead of eating up the bullshit that’s being fed to us one fake user at a time. Finding a new routine, one that focuses on self care than comparison.
I wouldn’t say that I’ve bloomed, trying become me again, I would say that I’ve shed the layers that aren’t me, left the petals in the wind to fully open up to new possibilities.
I’ve had to learn to trust again. But this time…I’m trusting myself.
Namaste, Jes xoxo