Are kids getting harder to relate to these days or are adults too busy to try?

Growing up in the 80’s with hippie parents it felt closer to the Alaskan bush people than the technological world we live in today. We had one antenna TV and one corded phone attached to the kitchen wall. According to the phone company, being on the edge of a school district made my friend’s houses 5 miles away long distance.

My mom’s chair, at the head of the kitchen table, had both the phone and the TV in eyesight. I couldn’t call my friends because we didn’t have a long distance plan and my friends often didn’t call me because they didn’t want to get yelled at by my mom for calling after 8pm.

My mom had and still has strict rules. Shoes off at the door, no elbows on the table and NO phone calls after 8pm. We didn’t fully live off the land but we gardened, canned, fished and recycled / repurposed almost everything.

The Flintstone’s, Jetson’s, Looney Toons… GOOD cartoons were always on growing up. Maybe it’s because we grew up together but my parent’s like cartoons too. Even now, cartoons are on at my parent’s house.

There is one episode of The Jetson’s that sticks out more than any other. It had been a rough night for the Jetson’s and they got a video call right away in the morning. Jane grabbed her “morning mask” before she answered her phone. Her mask was a refreshed perfect version of herself.

Now, as age begins to show and FaceTime is a thing, I often think about that episode and wish I owned a morning mask…

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My kids will still watch Scooby Do, Grojband and Tom & Jerry if they are on but they stopped turning on the TV JUST to watch cartoons. So what are kids up to today, if they aren’t watching weekend morning cartoons…

SnapChat.

In an attempt to be involved with them and know what’s going on with their world, I’m on Snapchat too. They have introduced me to the “Snapstreak” and I have to say, it’s STRESSFUL!

The pressure of remembering to snap someone sucks! On more than one occasion they will text me to remind me. The older one and I have a 175 day streak the little one and I are at 174. While that seems like a LOT, it’s nothing compared to their streaks.

435 is my oldest’s streak with his bestie. 435!!! That doesn’t count the multiple messages all day long, just the amount of days in a row. I don’t even know if I talk to myself that many days in a row 🤣

Communication is just different these days. It’s been changing for decades. It reminds me of this passage I would read after my yoga classes:

“We have bigger houses but smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; We have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicines, but less healthiness; We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We’ve built more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communications; We have become long on quantity, but short on quality.
These times are times of fast foods; but slow digestion; Tall man but short character; Steep profits but shallow relationships. It is time when there is much in the window, but nothing in the room.”

When my men were little, this mother told me that the teenage years for her and her boys were really tough. Her boys didn’t want to talk to her. She said that she had to figure out a way to keep the communication flowing. She said one of them would eventually open up on the open road. When she knew he needed to get something off his chest they would drive off until he started talking. The other one preferred listening to music. She’d sit with him enduring his choice of music bobbing her head to rap she didn’t get until he felt ready to open up.

I’m glad she shared those insights. I’m also grateful that she let me know each of her sons had different communication styles. My men have VERY different styles and together we’re learning how to communicate with each other.

Right now the oldest likes texting and Snapchat. The little one likes private talks.

I just like to know them.

If that takes taking pictures throughout the day and sending them I’ll do it. Seriously though, I would rather have the streak die than get another picture of the ceiling or floor…. What the hell is with that?! I prefer to go around the house, snap a picture of something up close or at an odd angle and ask them where I am. It’s better than another floor picture.

How do you communicate? Is it through Snapchat?

I still prefer those in person conversations. The conversations that know one really knows where they are going to end up. The ones that hit every possible subject and STILL find a new insight or punch line. Those are my favorite.

Until my men get there I’ll communicate with them on their turf. I’ll be just like Jane Jetson’s with her morning mask on, looking like a cartoon or an etch sketch.

On a side note, our Avatars are really close to how our personalities are, I’m not sure if that’s cool or creepy.

Communicate well and often. Namaste,

Jes xoxo