Team sports have always appealed to me. The camaraderie and being so close like it’s your second family has always been really alluring.
I played volleyball and ran track when I was a kid.
Maybe it was because I was a punk rocker dressed like a jock or the fact that I’m just not competitive, that didn’t give me the second family – camaraderie – experience I was looking for, BUT that didn’t prevent me from signing my kids up for sports.
This year was a year of lessons being learned from every direction.
It started out as every other previous year started…with a parents meeting, hosted by the President of youth football. It was raining that July morning, so we gathered under the bleachers. In the sea of parents, the President got lost, his voice is bigger than he is. He attempted to have the meeting but the cool parents in the back couldn’t hear him so he scaled a bleacher post and started his spiel over.
He said all of the words EVERY parent was hoping to hear. I don’t remember it exactly but it was something along the lines of, “We building one unified Ranger team, with the Working hard as our motto. Being part of a team builds character in each athletes life, not just on this field at this age but it will follow them for years to come. We’re doing a draft style – team picking – this year, not going off of names but by stats assigned to a practice number to even out the teams so we don’t have one team that dominates. Your kids will be given a practice number and over the next couple days run drills that they will be ranked on. The coaches will use the stats to pick their teams without knowing who they are selecting. Teams will be sent out next week”.
I LOVE the idea of building one UNIFIED team that’s core value is working hard and team work. It was a little strange sending your boy off to the unknown only to be judged by how fast he can run, how many passes he can catch and what his blocking style is.
My son was VERY concerned with who would be on his team? What if he didn’t have any of his friends on his team? What if he was having an off day when his stats were being tracked? I told him to just try his best and as long as he put in a good effort everything would work out.
He was STOKED to have his former defensive coach become his head coach and even happier when he knew a BUNCH of his teammates! He was a little disappointed that the core four were split up BUT I told him we’d go to their games too.
As the season got started the football moms reunited and started talking about the teams. It seemed they were a little lopsided and not as “equal” as we had been promised. One team had the best QB but the rest of the team seemed to only have linemen on it. Our team was a hodgepodge of youth veterans and the newbies and the final team seemed stacked. It seemed like they had ALL the good players on one team. It was odd.
We had an in with one of the coaches and he said that the players stats got messed up and one of the coaches, bet you can guess who, was going around writing down the practice numbers of the standout-kids during tryouts.
IT’S YOUTH FOOTBALL IN THE SEVENTH GRADE.
We’re not going to win a diamond ring. We’re supposed to be initiating the teamwork / hard work initiative in these kids and grow their passion for the game, but that’s not what happened.
Kids stayed on the sidelines while some kids never came off of the field.
There were a LOT of young men tears shed during the preseason and post games. The unified team did even get a chance to make roots when scrimmages between the Ranger teams caused concussions. It seemed like there was some animosity held on to by the young men and perhaps the rest of the season didn’t make it any better.
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I’ve worked in corporate America for enough years to know that change HAS to start at the top of the organization. You can’t have your CEO tell the frontline workers that you’re a unified team and have all the corporate cogs work in unison, that’s not how it works. The CEO would have to set the example and have it filtered from the top DOWN to build a strong unit.
It HAS to start from the top and with the President broadcasting allied forces from his concrete bleacher block I thought we might get there. Hope was initiated.
But, as they always do, actions speak far louder than words ever will.
It was at an October practice, the stacked team with an impressive winning record and playoffs in only their sight (so much for a balanced team approach) when I heard that stacked team was learning high school plays. It came off as slightly bragging, which is probably how I would have said it too. The coaches for the ninth grade team were helping the team practice and they were learning plays they’d use in the ninth grade in hopes of a successful playoff season.
Guess who is a ninth grade coach…
None other than the President of Youth Football.
I couldn’t wait to see how he would help the team my son was on by dissect the plays and fine tune the things that needed to be fine tuned! How great for the kids to get a taste of the ninth grade coaching!
Except it didn’t happen with our team, or the other misfits.
The President that spoke of creating ONE unified team, with discipline and hard work didn’t spend any time with the other TWO teams that will make up the future high school Ranger team.
I haven’t been able to stop thinking about what kind of message that sent the kids.
Is practicing what you preach still a thing or did that go out with this cancelled culture?
And WHAT do you say to your kid, when it wasn’t his team that got to learn the elusive high school plays?
To be perfectly frank, I didn’t handle this well.
While I should have handled this a little more maturely the mamma bear in me went straight to the real talk. I told him that I thought it was bullshit that the president could stand on a podium and fill us with words and misguided promises only to show true colors. I told my son that’s NOT how you build a team that is how you divide one. I told him that it had nothing to do with him, his talent, his team or his coaches but it sure as hell said a LOT about that President.
Some people chase shiny gold objects they get distracted by what really matters. Don’t let distractions fool you or sidetrack you, even if the message comes from the top. Stay true. Stay YOU.
In the meantime, my son chose to focus on what matters, building skills and getting better at something he loves. It took this mamma bear a while to chill out, BUT I am really glad the communication flood gates are wide open with us. And the winter 7 on 7 league was pretty fun to witness!
Wishing you an incredible New Year!
Jes xoxo