It all started when she said yes.
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A couple years ago while having drinks in the driveway, my neighbor told me he was going to propose to his girlfriend of ten years. I was the first and only person he told beforehand. His closest girl cousin wasn’t exactly thrilled to find out after me. I chalk it up to the excitement of having the ring and just NEEDING to tell SOMEONE. I guess I was in the right place at the right time!
Since the date has been picked they have been BUSY with all the things wedding. We used to hang out often but those times are now taken up with appointments with venues, photographers, catering services and everything else that goes into hosting a ceremony.
They are getting married next month and right now is crunch time. Everything is planned, prepped and paid for so now it’s just the FUN celebrations!
I wasn’t expecting to be invited to all of the festivities but I have been.
I tagged along with her sister, cousins, sister-in-law, mom, aunt and wedding party when she went dress shopping. She had been to a few shops in prior months so I felt incredibly grateful to witness her try the dress on that made her feel like a bride!
Mary is an amazing woman with friends that appreciate her and makes her feel special. I left the dress shop feeling slightly dejected, remembering my own experience.
I thought I had a tribe, but my experience was terrible. When the question was popped for me my Maid of Honor thought it would be more fun if she bought a fake ring at Claire’s and tried on dresses along side of me. I didn’t have the private appointment with mimosa’s and macrons. I didn’t have my wedding party, friends and family oohing and ahhhing over me. My experience was lonely. My now husband and his twin spent hours picking out cocktail dresses that wouldn’t break a college budget. Dresses my chosen party wouldn’t even meet us to try on.
We didn’t get the wedding we wanted. We got chaos. We ditched our destination dreams for a backyard wedding with only family standing up for us. Don’t get me wrong, some of my newer friends treated me like a Queen. They hosted surprise bridal showers, came to my bachelorette party and had a wedding day kit that held anything and everything you’d need on your day (honestly they should sell the kits). But, there wasn’t one part of our wedding that we chose, it was decided for us. This is why we often talk about a re-do, on a beach, exactly how it should have been.
I digress….
Over the weekend we celebrated my neighbor. Friday I went to the gorgeous bridal shower with sparkling wine, charcuterie boards and sparkly cupcakes. Saturday I attended the bachelorette party at Treasure island. 19 of us girls sat and chatted in the hot tub and swim up bar. After a few drinks we changed into our dinner / dancing attire and ate at Tabo’s steakhouse. The casino had live music and we spent the next few hours dancing the night away.
Her Maid-of-Honor told me we need to figure out a way to get Mary up on stage. I grabbed Mary’s hand and walked her right up there. She danced in the front of the stage for the entire song the crowd and her tribe cheering her on.
As the night darkened the tribe dispersed. I found myself at the blackjack tables with that cousin I mentioned earlier. The fun we had is probably illegal in some parts of the world! Both of us left with more than we started with!
The next day on my solo drive home I thought about each person at the bachelorette party. All of us are so different, different backgrounds, different upbringings, different in how we live now. It was really beautiful to see all of us come together, not showcase our differences and be separate but come together dressed in unity and feel like the damn BRIDE TRIBE we should be. Our friend deserves that and more.
As the countdown to the wedding continues (40 days), I am looking forward to being part of the ceremony too! Though the officiant book reminds the Reverend (me) the ceremony isn’t about you it’s about the couple, this couple will NOT have to worry about that from me. I will not be going to Claire’s for a fake ring to steal the limelight instead I will be honored to be a part of their journey. And I will DEFINITELY remember to step out of the way when they share their first married kiss.
(Dear future self, PLEASE remember to move out of the way!!! 🤣)
Namaste,
Jes xoxo