Where is the reset button? Somewhere on our bodies there must be a reset button. I want to get back to the factory settings.
Some people have these natural gut instincts that never steer them wrong. I would like to have this unnatural superhuman trait, but I do not. The problem is I like to see the good in everything but mostly people. I trust too much and end up believing things I shouldn’t because why would someone lie to me?
On Sex in the City (greatest show EVER) there is an episode where Samantha gets sucked into believing a “we-er”. She meets this guy and he starts we-ing her right in to their future together. He “we-d” her through summers in the Hamptons, yachting here and there and everything in between. Samantha falls for it hook, line and sinker. Honestly, why wouldn’t she? The chemistry was right between them so why would he lie?
I had that once. The chemistry wasn’t perfect between us, it was kind of uncomfortable, but the good kind of uncomfortable. The get-you-out-of-your-comfort-zone-and-accomplish-things-you’ve-never-imagined-before uncomfortable. She saw me differently and challenged me accordingly. Yes, I said she. Someone I’m close with started dating her and we hit it off pretty quickly. I still can’t figure out if she’s a storm causer or just doesn’t put up with bullshit. Either way, she came in and kind of cleaned house on some of my “friends”. She was rude and harsh, but maybe that’s how you get the point across the quickest. Using the sharp end of the sword definitely cut the ties clean off with some of my “friends”.
Somewhere along the line I started to fall for her we-ing. I fell hook, line and sinker. After I took the bait, my perfect life in the form of a glass snow globe shattered. The kind of shatter you would get if you dropped the globe from 20 stories high. Completely annihilated everything. It started off slowly. I could feel myself being wedged out and then all hell broke loose.
The thing is, the major explosion, probably could have been prevented. If I would have trusted my gut instead of listening to my husband (who thought I was goofy) things may have been different. Maybe we could have talked out the differences that were seemingly intensifying and we could have fixed the problem before it became a problem. Maybe…maybe not though, maybe it was bound to happen regardless of the steps that were or were not taken.
Since the globe dropped and the explosion has blown over (slightly anyway) we have started speaking to each other rather than planning things around where the other one is. As we stayed up chatting and trying to get to a tolerable position for the both of us I felt myself taking the bait. Slipping right back into the comfort of routine. After a few hours of sleep though, the first thought in my mind the next morning was, “are you a we-er or are you going to trust your gut this time?”. I hope the later but time will be the best way to see.
Much love!
Jes xoxo