One post a month just won’t do.
I promise I’ll get better. My intentions are there but time swiftly moves at a pace I can not catch.
Until now.
I consider myself a kind, giving and thoughtful person. More often than not “thoughtful” becomes “over-thinking”. Although I’m a planner, my husband is quick to point out that overthinking creates problems you’ve never had.
The truth is I can’t help it. I like to figure out scenarios where everyone wins. For the last few months I have been struggling. While I’m trying to figure out how to make everyone else happy I forgot to include the most important person…Me.
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Before I signed on to the yoga teacher training program. I put a LOT of thought into it. I tried figuring out how to get my shifts covered at work, how I could get the homework done and how I could stay organized enough to run our family – in particular the kids school stuff.
The thing is, I could do it all.
The problem was, I wasn’t doing any of it well.
My manager started giving me EXTRA shifts at work, which REALLY put a damper on all of my plans. I went from having some catch-up time to having NONE and on top of that it took away my catch up sleep days, all of my family time, NO time to catch up on my yoga homework and NO time for me. Misery is my BEST friend.
I had Monday’s off. The problem with that is I work Sunday night and get home at 2am Monday. I nap for a couple hours then wake up to get the kids off to school then go back and nap. Starting a week off exhausted really doesn’t help anyone and only makes me c.r.a.b.b.y.
After two months of this insane schedule I began to crack. I couldn’t breathe, I began to have anxiety attacks, depression set in, I couldn’t breath, I got a cold sore. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown.
I went to my manager and told her that she has to stop scheduling me so much, I can’t handle it. She told me to find people to cover my shifts. That didn’t happen. My co-workers could tell I was struggling, I was NOT quite about it. I lasted three more weeks and decided the stress, weight gain, depression and anxiety were not worth it. If my manager wasn’t going to listen I had no other choice.
So I quit.
I was tempted to leave one of these as my resignation letter:
Instead I did the classic two weeks letter…
For too long I have been accommodating other people in a PART-TIME job. it’s time to do what’s best for me and my family.
As spring officially starts, so does change. As your spring finds you, be not afraid of change, but afraid of staying the same. The growth is in the change, whether it be uncomfortable or not.
Don’t overstay your welcome in a life that isn’t you.
Much love, peace and happiness!
Happy Spring!
Jes xoxo