Monday, January 7th, someone walked into my yoga class and noticed the limited attendees and commented, “so much for the resolutioners”. And man, was she ever right.
I’ve always like the idea of a fresh start, a new beginning and I LOVE setting my intentions/resolutions for the New Year. It’s one of my favorite conversations to have and this year, it surprised me at how ONE sided these conversations are becoming.
More and more people are not setting goals. They are not looking forward to the fresh start. They seem, well… defeated; like they have already failed when they haven’t even tried. Why start if you know you won’t finish mentality HAS to stop.
This lack of intention got me wondering when it became the cultural norm to just give up. How did it become acceptable to make fun of people that do hit the gym or that actually have weight loss goals? When did we start judging other peoples goals to the point of getting them off track?
Last fall someone was talking to me about resolutions and how they felt it was ridiculous to spend a small part of their day lifting weights. In a very mocking voice they said, “oh sure…THAT’S what I want to do, spend time at a gym pumping iron,” when he lifted up his bicep free arm I couldn’t stop the puzzeled look on my face.
Why wouldn’t you want to be your best self?
Why wouldn’t you want to move your body so you feel better?
But most importantly, why would you mock someone for wanting to do that, even if YOU don’t?
At a loss for words, I gently raised my eyebrows, shook my head, and walked away puzzeled.
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I’m going to let you in on a secret. Something that you probably haven’t realized before. New Year Resolutions do not have to be attached to weight loss or gym goals.
You read that right, you do NOT need to have a weight loss goal to start a resolution. In fact (being sort of an expert on the subject) I would advise against such changes. IF you do want to make that kind of lifestyle change, it has to be just that…. a LIFE STYLE change. Resolutions are much smaller than that.
I have a friend that needed to make a life style change. She started that day by going for 15 minute walk around the building we worked in 2 times a day. The first day, the first break, she made a 5 minute walk and came back VERY winded and full of defeat in her eyes. This obstacle that seemed so attainable in her eyes had just won the first battle and she was ready to give up. I could see that in her eyes. I complimented her on a job well done and told her to be patient with herself, change was coming. Then I told her instead of pressuring herself to do the full 15 minutes she should just try to walk further than she did the break before.
She did. She kept small goals, walking a little further than she had the time before. Once she made it all the way around the building she tried walking a bit faster, then a bit faster. Pretty soon she was able to walk around the block long building twice in her 15 minute breaks. She did that twice a day everyday and it wasn’t long before she lost 30, then 50 pounds.
Goals like that need to be started same day, because sometimes tomorrow just doesn’t come.
Resolutions are different. They should be smaller, attainable goals, even if you (literally) put them on a shelf for a month or two like I had to with the Rubik’s cube. 10+ years ago I had a resolution to complete the Rubik’s cube. It took me all year. When I was frustrated, I put it away and worked on it when the frustration faded. I cracked that thing open Jan 1 and by Dec 21 I solved it. It took ALL damn year to figure out the trick to it (which is have the same side facing you the ENTIRE time or you screw everything up). But I finished it.
I’ve also read 12 classic books, which again took me all year.
Most of my resolutions take me ALL year, but that’s the beauty in them. You don’t quit. You don’t give up. You simply let it be for a little while then you get right back to it!
So here are my 5 tips to staying on course with your resolutions:
- Pick small attainable things. Is there some food you want to try or place you want to go see? Maybe you want to do a jigsaw puzzle, or complete the Rubik’s cube.
- Choose a resolution YOU want. Don’t get caught up in what everyone else is doing. Make sure this is a goal that is for YOU and not something your friend has talked so highly about YOU are on the bandwagon of her goals.
- Be patient with yourself. Things take time. It doesn’t matter if you have to start over or start from the beginning again and again and again, JUST keep going!
- Use an accountability system. Ask your friends to check on your progress or keep post it notes around reminding you of your goal.
- Remember, even if the calendar doesn’t say Jan 1st, you can still create and keep an intention for the year. The holidays can be a chaotic time to focus on yourself. If you haven’t ever given resolutions a try today is the perfect day to start.
My resolutions for the year include but are not limited to:
- A Yoga focus. Diving deep in the asanas and attending festivals.
- Hiking in 5 new state parks.
- Having the kids try one new activity each. (They are thinking soccer and piano lessons)
- Finding a closer dentist so we go more.
Simple. They might take all year, but I’m fine with that.
Happy intention finding!
Namaste,
Jes xoxo